Mediation and Conflict Coaching

Coaching is an opportunity to discuss your unique situation with someone trained to help you engage in, manage, and resolve your own conflict.

As your coach I listen, ask questions, reframe the situation, and help you generate options. I help you understand what you need and value, and how you can consider your needs and values as you determine how to move forward. I don’t make any decisions for you, but I equip you with the tools you need to get through this situation and resolve things in the future.

Every situation is different, but this example may help you imagine what the process might look like and how long it may take.

An interpersonal issue:

A friend borrowed money and didn’t pay it back when they said they would. You don’t want to have to go to court over this issue and your friend won’t agree to participate in mediation, but you need help figuring out how to approach them and hopefully bring an end to this disagreement.

As your coach, I guide you with questions about your relationship with your friend, how the situation came about, and what kind of resolution you would like to achieve. I help you plan how to reach out to them, how to express yourself, and what solutions you might want to suggest. In coaching, you learn new communication skills and other techniques to help you have a productive conversation with your friend.

In as many sessions as you want or need, I support you as you work to resolve your conflict. After coaching, you walk away feeling more equipped to deal with other conflicts in the future.

Coaching can have many outcomes. The outcome depends on what you want and need, and I can help you figure this out.

• You may decide that you want to continue meeting with me regularly while you work to resolve your conflict independently.

• You may decide you want to try mediating the situation, and we can discuss the best way to reach out to the other party (see question below).

• You may decide you are ready to move forward with a more formal option, such as a grievance or a lawsuit, and I can guide you through the next steps.

• You may decide that you don’t want to take further action and that you are ready to move on.

The first hour of coaching with The Resolved Approach is free. After that, coaching costs $25 to $100 an hour, depending on your economic need. When you first reach out, I’ll quote you a flat hourly rate for coaching. If you’re willing to share your yearly household income, which will remain confidential, I can adjust my hourly rate based on this information (not to exceed the initial quote).

It’s important to me to make coaching accessible to everyone, so I encourage you to reach out to me regardless of your financial situation. There are ways to work together no matter your budget, and I don’t turn anyone away for an inability to pay.

Mediation is an opportunity to sit down (virtually or in person) with those you are disputing and have a productive conversation facilitated by a trained neutral. In mediation, you get to explore creative options for resolution and decide whether you want to reach an agreement and what that agreement entails.

At The Resolved Approach I conduct facilitative mediation, which means that the parties to the mediation completely control the outcome of the situation. I ask questions, listen, and lead a productive conversation between the parties, but the parties themselves determine how and whether they want the situation to resolve.

Every situation is different, but this example may help you imagine what the process might look like and how long it may take.

A family dispute:

You and your adult siblings are disagreeing about how to care for your aging mother. One sister wants to move in and take care of your mother at her home, while you and your other siblings want to sell your mother's house and move her into long-term care.

As your mediator, I help you and your siblings navigate your family dynamics and areas of disagreement, and come up with a solution that prioritizes your family’s well-being. I gather information, ask questions, and structure conversations so that everyone is heard and understood. Everyone has the chance to discuss their personal goals and needs, their individual financial situations, what they want for your mother, and what they want for your mother's house.

This type of mediation can take several sessions, and you and your family walk away with an agreement that guides your future decision-making, avoids more conflict, and preserves your relationships.

• Mediation is completely voluntary, so you have nothing to lose by giving it a try: Parties to a mediation choose whether they want to start mediation and whether they want to come to an agreement. Anyone, including the mediator, can end the mediation at any time.

• Mediation is a safe, nonjudgmental space: A mediator remains neutral at all times. I will not make a judgment about the situation or about who is right or wrong.

• Mediation is confidential: I keep everything in the mediation confidential, so you can speak your mind. If your situation is not resolved in mediation, I will not be part of any formal process or lawsuit.

• Mediation does not prevent you from taking further action: If you try mediation and it doesn’t work out, you can still choose litigation.

• Mediation saves time and money: Mediation can help you avoid years of court battles and thousands of dollars in legal fees.

• Mediation promotes direct, clear communication: Mediation gives you an opportunity to talk to each other directly, listen, communicate more clearly, and successfully navigate your misunderstandings and conflict. You can say what you need to say and hear what the other person needs to say, and the mediator serves as a guide for the trickier parts of the conversation. You don’t have to make compromises or agree on every aspect of the situation. Mediation gives you the chance to reach an agreement that allows you to move on even if you continue to disagree about some things.

• Mediation remains in your control: At all times, parties to the mediation control the content of the discussion and the outcome of the process. An agreement is reached only if both of you want to reach that agreement. I do not make suggestions about what the resolution should be, and I will never force a resolution on you.

• Mediation promotes creative and lasting resolution: In mediation, you can think about what you really want and you can brainstorm options for resolving the situation together. You can come up with a resolution that someone outside of the dispute (such as a judge or supervisor) would never think of. A resolution that you helped craft often feels easier to comply with.

• Mediation often leads to a resolution: I have an over 90% settlement rate in mediation, because parties who come to the table to talk things out can often decide how to move forward together. Even if you don’t reach an agreement, mediation can still help you feel heard and get a clearer sense of what you want and what your options are outside of mediation.

The outcome of a mediation is completely determined by you and the other party. Typically, you leave with an agreement that both parties abide by moving forward.

If you cannot agree to come to a mutual resolution through mediation, I can help you understand what your options are for next steps.

Mediation is typically much faster and more efficient than going to court because you get to talk to the other party directly. The process takes only as long as you need it to, and it can be completed all at once or divided over multiple sessions.

The number of mediation sessions necessary can depend on the nature of the conflict and how much there is to discuss and decide. I may also schedule sessions privately with each party to help move things along.

If you want legal advice or an advocate, yes. As a mediator, I cannot provide legal advice or advocate specifically for you. I am a neutral party and do not favor or advocate for anyone in the mediation.

If you already have a lawyer and would like to try mediation, it is up to you whether you invite your lawyer into the process.

Mediation at The Resolved Approach costs $50 to $300 an hour, depending on the type of mediation, whether the mediation is conducted in person or virtually, and economic need. For all mediation, I quote a flat hourly rate. If you’re willing to share your yearly household income, which will remain confidential, I can adjust my hourly rate based on this information (not to exceed the initial quote). You and the other party can be charged together or separately based on your preferences, and deciding who is going to pay for the mediation can be part of what is mediated.

There are some situations where going to court is the right choice, including situations involving domestic violence, restraining orders, or threats of harm. Additionally, if you want someone to decide your case for you, you should go to court because that will not be the mediator’s role. Otherwise, you have nothing to lose by trying mediation first because you can always end the process and then go to court. If you are unsure about what to do, I invite you to call for a free coaching session to help you understand your options and decide what your best next step is.

Yes. If you are working with a lawyer, you can decide how much you want your lawyer(s) to be involved in mediation. Lawyers sometimes want their clients to try mediation for various reasons, and lawyers can be part of this process. Alternatively, even if you’re already begun working with a lawyer, you can choose to pause litigation and start mediation without your lawyer as you decide how you want to move forward. When you reach out to me, I can help you think through how much you may want your lawyer to be involved in this process.

Yes. I can discuss strategies with you for reaching out to the other party to offer mediation. Mediation is always voluntary, so the other person needs to agree to mediate to move forward. If they decline, I can continue to work with you individually on a coaching basis to help you pursue other options.

Yes. Mediation is always voluntary, so both of you do need to agree to mediate, but a harmonious relationship is not required for a successful mediation. Even contentious situations can be resolved through mediation, and the process helps improve your communication and avoid more conflict moving forward.

Your free consultation is completely non-binding. I’m committed to helping you find the most affordable, efficient, and effective solution for your situation, even if you do not choose to work with The Resolved Approach. If we’re not the right fit, I’m happy to refer you to other resources that may help.