Divorce Mediation

Mediation is an opportunity to sit down (virtually or in person) with the person you are disputing and have a productive conversation facilitated by a trained neutral party. In a mediation, you get to explore creative options for resolution, deciding whether you want to reach an agreement and what that agreement entails.

At The Resolved Approach, I conduct facilitative mediation, which means that the parties to the mediation completely control the outcome of the situation. I ask questions, listen, and lead a productive conversation between you and your spouse so that you both may determine how the situation resolves.

Every divorce and mediation is different, but these two examples may help you imagine what the process might look like and how long it may take.

For a divorcing couple that's basically on the same page about moving forward:

You’ve both agreed that you don’t need lawyers because you aren’t overwhelmed by conflict, but you aren’t sure what you need to file or how to officially complete your divorce.

As your mediator, I help you work through any disagreements and guide you through the steps to make the divorce official. I facilitate conversations between you and your spouse about the components of a separation agreement, such as division of assets, financial arrangements, and alimony. Once both spouses have agreed on the separation agreement, I walk you through the remaining paperwork requirements. After working with me, you and your spouse will be ready to present all of your completed paperwork to the court, which expedites the issuance of a divorce judgment.

This type of mediation can typically be completed with a few phone calls and just 1 or 2 mediation sessions.

For a divorcing couple with more contention and concerns about child custody:

The court process for a contentious divorce could take 1 to 2 years to resolve, but mediation can reduce this time to just a few months.

As your mediator, I help both spouses navigate the areas of disagreement and come up with a solution that works for everyone and prioritizes your children’s well-being. While a court process can discourage or even prevent you both from speaking directly about dividing your assets and parenting your children, I help you to communicate productively and mutually resolve these issues. You, not a judge, decide what will work best for your family and your children.

I facilitate conversations between you and your spouse about the components of a separation agreement, such as division of assets, financial arrangements, custody, and a parenting plan. Once both spouses have agreed on the separation agreement, I walk you through the remaining paperwork requirements for court. After working with me, you and your spouse will be ready to present all of your completed paperwork to the court, which expedites the issuance of a divorce judgment.

This type of mediation may take 3 to 5 mediation sessions, and these sessions can be regularly scheduled and concluded in a few months.

• Mediation is completely voluntary, so you have nothing to lose by giving it a try: Parties to a mediation choose whether they want to start mediation and whether they want to come to an agreement. Anyone can end the mediation at any time.

• Mediation is a safe, nonjudgmental space: A mediator remains neutral at all times. I do not make a judgment about the situation or about who is right or wrong.

• Mediation is confidential: I keep everything in the mediation confidential, so you can speak your mind. If your divorce is not resolved in mediation, I will not be part of any formal process or lawsuit.

• Mediation does not prevent you from taking further action: If you try mediation and it doesn’t work out, you can still choose litigation.

• Mediation saves time and money: Mediation can help you avoid years of court battles and thousands of dollars in legal fees for both spouses.

• Mediation promotes direct, clear communication: Mediation gives you an opportunity to talk to each other directly, listen, communicate more clearly, and successfully navigate your misunderstandings and conflict. You can say what you need to say and hear what the other person needs to say, and the mediator serves as a guide for the trickier parts of the conversation. You don’t have to make compromises or agree on every aspect of the situation. Mediation gives you the chance to reach an agreement that allows you to move on even if you continue to disagree about some things.

• Mediation remains in your control: At all times, parties to the mediation control the content of the discussion and the outcome of the process. An agreement is reached only if both of you want to reach that agreement. I do not make suggestions about what the resolution should be, and I will never force a resolution on you.

• Mediation promotes creative and lasting resolution: In mediation, you can think about what you really want and you can brainstorm options for resolving the situation together. You can come up with a resolution that someone outside of the dispute (such as a judge) would never think of. A resolution that you helped craft feels easier to comply with.

• Mediation often leads to a resolution: I have an over 90% settlement rate in mediation, because parties who come to the table to talk things out can often decide how to move forward together. Even if you don’t reach an agreement, mediation can still help you feel heard and get a clearer sense of what you want and what your options are outside of mediation.

The outcome of a mediation is completely determined by you and your spouse. In divorce mediation, the process concludes with a mutually agreed-upon separation agreement that is approved in one meeting by a judge.

If you cannot agree to come to a mutual resolution through mediation, I can help you understand what your options are for next steps.

Mediation is typically much faster and more efficient than going to court because you get to talk to your spouse directly. The process takes only as long as you need it to, and it can be completed all at once or divided over multiple sessions.

The number of mediation sessions necessary can depend on the nature of the conflict and how much there is to discuss and decide. I may also schedule sessions privately with each spouse to help move things along.

If you want legal advice or an advocate, yes. As a mediator, I cannot provide legal advice or advocate specifically for you. I am a neutral party and do not favor or advocate for either spouse.

If you already have a lawyer and would like to try mediation, it is up to you whether you invite your lawyer into the process.

Mediation at The Resolved Approach costs $50 to $300 an hour, depending on the type of mediation, whether the mediation is conducted in person or virtually, and economic need. For all mediation, I quote a flat hourly rate. You and your spouse can be charged together or separately based on your preferences, and deciding who is going to pay for the mediation can be part of what is mediated.

It’s important to me to make mediation accessible to everyone, so I encourage you to reach out to me regardless of your financial situation. There are ways to work together no matter your budget, and I don’t turn anyone away for an inability to pay.

There are some situations where going to court is the right choice, including situations involving domestic violence, restraining orders, or threats of harm. Additionally, if you want someone to decide your case for you, you should go to court because that will not be the mediator’s role. Otherwise, you have nothing to lose by trying mediation first because you can always end the process and then go to court. If you are unsure about what to do, I invite you to call for a free coaching session to help you understand your options and decide what your best next step is.

Yes. If you are working with a lawyer, you can decide how much you want your lawyer(s) to be involved in mediation. Lawyers sometimes want their clients to try mediation for various reasons, and lawyers can be part of this process. Alternatively, even if you’re already begun working with a lawyer, you can choose to pause litigation and start mediation without your lawyer as you decide how you want to move forward. When you reach out to me, I can help you think through how much you may want your lawyer to be involved in this process.

Yes. I can discuss strategies with you for reaching out to your spouse to offer mediation. Mediation is always voluntary, so your spouse would need to agree to mediate in order to move forward. If they decline, I can continue to work with you individually on a coaching basis to help you pursue other options.

Yes. Mediation is always voluntary, so both of you do need to agree to mediate, but a harmonious relationship isn’t required for a successful mediation. Even contentious divorces can be resolved through mediation, and the process helps improve your communication and avoid more conflict moving forward.

Your free consultation is completely non-binding. I’m committed to helping you find the most affordable, efficient, and effective solution for your situation, even if you do not choose to work with The Resolved Approach. If we’re not the right fit, I’m happy to refer you to other resources that may help.